Today started out as any other, except today was a mommy & Lexi day. She had her well child check scheduled with a new physician, so we took the day for just us. He said all the things I already knew. My child is dangerously overweight. And it’s alarming. It’s scary. It’s embarrassing that I’ve failed as her mother. I’ve been asking for a solution for years….we’d hoped she would just grow out of it. It didn’t work out like that for her.
Immediately I started running through all the things I should’ve would’ve could’ve done. All the perfect moms with children who are perfect on the chart. I’ve truly done the best I could. I’m still learning this stuff myself. At 33 years old, I JUST learned you can exercise all day but not burn off carbs. What?! I know. Those suckers are there once they’re there. I ran through every Pinterest mom I’ve ever seen, every classroom mom. All of it. And once I pulled myself together, I was able to soak in the truth. She’s ok. I’m ok. We are learning. We are changing our lives and we are doing it together.
The doctor recommended a program that’s going to really shake things up. We will get labs drawn, visit a nutrionalist, and even get some therapy. You see, at just seven years old, I’ve often walked in on her binge eating. I am paralyzed with fear every time I see it. The fear that she’s developing MY coping mechanism. The fear that she will wind up just like me. The fear that I’ve ruined her. I can’t wait for her to start this new journey.
What’s more is I haven’t ruined my child. I’m not a terrible mother. I’m not failing her. I am the perfect mom for HER. I know so because God wouldn’t have blessed me with her if He didn’t think I were fit. It took me 30 years to even comprehend that my coping mechanisms were totally wrong. Thirty years to understand that I need to eat healthy and not starve myself. Thirty THREE years to learn to love myself. And she’s going to learn those things at only seven years old. I’m not failing her at all. I’m doing just fine by her.
I was more shocked at the fact he was hesitant to recommend it because of cost. It’s $200. Two hundred dollars that I frequently throw away on fast food or impulse buys. Who wouldn’t be willing to make this happen for their child?!
So here’s to the Helmbrecht house. The family that is going to change their lives TOGETHER. Learn to love ourselves wholly, learn to be happy, and learn to be healthy. My husband was present and willing to jump on board. I’m ecstatic. This journey is going to be great.
Proverbs 31:25 She is clothed with strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future.
Amber Helmbrecht from helmbrecht8.wordpress.com